November 9, 2009

An Exploration of Ancient Icelandic Linguistics
By Dylan Love (visit theDylanLove.com)


"Years of isolation meant the [Icelandic] language changed so little between settlement and today that modern Icelanders can read 12th- and 13th-century Icelandic sagas with no problem."
- The Washington Post, December 7, 2008

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Reykjavik, May 20, 1180

FJALAR:
Hey Katrin. What's up, girl? Wanna ditch ice fishing class with me? We can go check out the fjords.

KATRIN:
Oh, Fjalar. You only ever want to go to the fjords.

FJALAR:
Can you think of anything else to do on this godforsaken hunk of medieval ice and rock?

KATRIN:
...

FJALAR:
Well?

KATRIN:
I'll get my things.

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Off the coast of Borgarnes, February 20, 1295:

BENEDIKT:
It's absolutely freezing out here. Why did we ever move?

RAGNAR:
Because Norway sucks.

BENEDIKT:
Catch anything yet?

RAGNAR:
Nope. You?

BENEDIKT:
Nope.

RAGNAR:
Looks like it's sheep heads for dinner again.

BENEDIKT:
Will our lives ever get any better?

RAGNAR:
Probably not.

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Arborg, June 19, 1387:

SIGFINNUR:
I know they could be used for something else one day, but right now geothermal vents are incredibly refreshing places to take a shit.

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Mosfellsbaer, October 11, 1433

VARICK:
Father, I don't want to be a Viking like you when I grow up. I want to sing and dance.

HARALDUR:
Oh, foolish son. Get that ridiculous thought out of your head. We've talked about this - you will be a malevolent rapist and plunderer, just like me, my father, and his father before him.

VARICK:
No, I will sing and dance. I've already made tap shoes out of rocks and eel skin, so it's only a matter of time before someone discovers me!
(executes a flawless pirouette, jumps into the air, and lands in the splits)

HARALDUR:
Oh, jeez. Son, you have to stop with this dancing business. You practice outside all day in the front yard and now the neighbors are starting to talk, saying that Haraldur's only son is an "Ice Queen." Do you know how that makes me feel?

VARICK:
I didn't realize my passion brought shame to you.

HARALDUR:
Well...it does. I wish you hadn't chosen this as a way of life.

VARICK:
It's not a choice, father! I was born this way!
(more pirouettes)

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Akranes, August 1, 1478:

SIF:
Hey, have you heard the new Sigur Ros CD?

VALBJORN:
What the hell are you talking about?

SIF:
How about the new Bjork?