October 2009

Pitching Mad Men
By Dylan Love (visit theDylanLove.com)

MATTHEW WEINER enters a boardroom filled with several AMC TELEVISION EXECUTIVES.

EXECUTIVE: All right, Mr. Weiner. What do you have for us?

WEINER: The new flagship program for AMC will be called "Mad Men."

EXECUTIVE: Ooooh, I like it. Is it a medical drama that takes place in a psych ward? Or maybe it's about a bloodthirsty pack of robbers?

WEINER: The show is about ennui and societal repression. It's about people taking people for granted. It's an exploration of life's desires unfulfilled.

EXECUTIVE: That's it?

WEINER: There's also stuff about advertising here and there.

EXECUTIVE: Does it take place in modern times, so that the youth can relate to it?

WEINER: It will take place in the sixties.

EXECUTIVE: How about a compromise? What if it took place in the eighties?

WEINER: Nope. Sixties. Giant radios and black and white TVs.

EXECUTIVE: Can we spice it up with some action scenes?

WEINER: If you mean existential crises and acrimony, then there's already loads of action.

EXECUTIVE: Any leading ladies? Let's cast a real bombshell.

WEINER: The women will be seen but not heard.

FEMALE EXECUTIVE: What does that mean?

WEINER: Quiet, sweetheart. Men are talking.

EXECUTIVE: What did you have in mind for a pilot episode?

WEINER: People will float in and out of each other's lives, being cold and emotionally distant.

EXECUTIVE: And how will you wrap it up in the season finale?

WEINER: Coldness and emotional distance. Only more so.

EXECUTIVE: Well, I'm sold. Let's start production immediately.

FEMALE EXECUTIVE: Sir, I must say that I have serious objections to pursuing this show.

EXECUTIVE: And I've got serious objections to not having a drink in my hand right now. Why don't you go see what you can do about that?